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I don’t know how to go about writing this entry as it was a mash of emotion, fear, questions and wondering. But being able to write about it may help give me some perspective about the whole thing.
Cryptic right?
Well let’s rewind about 3 or 4 weeks ago.
We all had a cold, when one person in the house catches something – everyone will soon be the victim! But for some reason, Kyran just couldn’t shake it off. He just wasn’t himself. And what made it worse was he was having his old leg pain flaring up really bad this time, to such an extent that he would wake up screaming during the night and in so much pain we would have to carry him to the bathroom and back into his bed! he would describe the pain as very sore and inside his leg.
We had passed this off before as growing pains because he is getting really tall really fast and the pain was usually quite fleeting. But not this time. This time it was more prolonged. So we thought it would be best to get him checked out with the doctor just to make sure that there are no other issues underlying!
All went well initially with the doctor on the Tuesday morning, she had recommended some blood tests just to rule out any issues! But come the next day, we had a call from the surgery requesting us to attend the local hospital as soon as we could to have x-rays done on Kyrans leg.
This made me worried. Why would they suddenly ring you up the next day if something wasn’t wrong.
I had found out that the doctor (whom we know) had been thinking about him at home and wanted to rule out an issue that had crossed her mind.
She had been thinking he might have a form of cancer!
This scared the living life out of me! He’s 3 years old! This shouldn’t happen to children. Children shouldn’t be going to scans for cancer! I cried, genuinely shed tears at the thought of my 3 year old son having to be checked for cancer!
My mind was racing, I was already trying to make plans for what if, and what about this and
that.
I’m an impatient person and I wanted answers and diagnosis but that wasn’t going to happen!
On the journey to the hospital I got Clare to Google search images of x-rays with potential issues so that if I saw the x-ray I might spot something similar. Probably not the best thing to do because we know what Doctor Google can be like.
So anyway, we went to hospital and Kyran did great, I got to see the x-rays as they were taken and didn’t think I seen anything, so I had reassured myself everything was ok and that I had let my imagination run wild a little bit.
It all changes that next day.
Kyran went for his blood tests and was very brave, but that afternoon we were given the call that explained the x-rays. My heart sank...we have found a 4mm lesion on his thigh. We need to send you to the hospital to see a consultant in the coming weeks and get this figured out.
My mind raced yet again, I couldn’t wait weeks for someone to tell me if my son has or hasn’t cancer. I needed to know, I needed to understand why my son was in pain, I needed to know if he would be ok!
So when we got home, we made the decision to ring round every private clinic in Northern Ireland and find the soonest available appointment with a consultant who could read the x-rays and give us an indication of what was happening!
Thankfully we only had to wait until that Monday so that we could see the specialist in ballykelly!
But that Monday came and kyran had become more unwell with this cold that he was admitted to hospital for blood tests to rule out Kawasaki disease (no not an addiction to motorbikes)....
Things couldn’t get any worse we thought, he was just having such a tough few weeks!
We managed to get the all clear from the hospital and set on a course of anti-biotics and raced down the road to the specialist.
Nervously we walked into the clinic, signed the paper work and were introduced to this gentleman! To my surprise he immediately started to engage with Kyran and talk to him on his level. It was comforting for him. But in the back of my mind I kept thinking “lets just get to the point here”. A few minutes later, after we explained what had been going on, he looked at the x-rays along with the reports and he said that he would be very sure that it wasn’t cancer. He actually told us that it was more than likely osteoid osteoma, which is simply a benign tumour that won’t do any harm but will become painful when inflamed or irritated.
Suddenly a wave of reassurance washed over me and calmed me down. That uncertainty and fear that had followed me around for the past 4 days had just disappeared as I listened to his words. An overwhelming sense of happiness and thankfulness filled my heart!
He went on to explain that we would still need to attend hospital for a CT scan to confirm, but in his 25+ years in that profession he was sure it was the osteoma.
So to treat it it will require surgery that will burn the tumour out of his thigh, but that is a small thing compares to what it could have been. I remember walking out of that clinic and I just picked Kyran up and gave him one of the tightest hugs I have ever given him, thankful for what we had just been told.
As I have said already, I am an impatient person and when something like this happens, I hate waiting for answers. And as of now, 24/10/2019, we are STILL waiting for a hospital appointment to see their consultant. I think if I was still in the dark about how problem I would’ve gone mad by now!
But this whole thing has made me appreciate my children that little bit more. I still think about the what ifs, and then I think about the children who actually go through this for real, day in and day out! The agony they and their families must go through.
4 days was too much for me not knowing what was happening, I don’t know where people find the strength! But I have now been enlightened by the whole experience!
I think this will be a catalyst for me to help somewhere in the future, to help families who perhaps don’t get the better news like we did, and that turns my stomach to think of situations like that!
So I leave it there, a very relieved dad, but one who's eyes have been opened.
With a thanks to our Doctor who had the courage to call us back the next day because she had some secondary thoughts. To Stephen for his help and support. To our friends and family and everyone who kept asking about Kyran. We are thankful for all of you and your love to us through those trying number of days!